I chose the title of this post two weeks ago and as I’ve continued to see it in my “drafts” writing box, my mind has continued to go in a million directions. The theme God has been working on in me lately is brokenness to beauty.
When I was watching Liam color the other day, he was trying to peel the crayon paper off and was determined to break the crayons before coloring with them.
I was trying to wrap my mind around this in terms of how inner brokenness can open up seasons of new sights/scenery, new colors, and a fresh perspective. In our throwaway society, it is so easy to lose sight of all versions of beautiful. It doesn’t matter if a crayon is worn or broken in two, it still colors. Sure, it may be more difficult and require more focus to color in the lines when the tip is dull, but it’s more rewarding and brings about challenges that quickly turn to accomplishment – it still brings that paper to life.
Some days, when Satan is making an arduous effort to attack, I get so down on myself. Occasionally wallowing in my past mistakes and pride. Why am I letting my insecurities rise? Why am I letting past mistakes make me feel like I can’t accomplish anything today and in the days to come? Why am I letting yesterday’s mommy meltdown dictate how I start today? I often want to “throw away” and forget the worn and torn parts of myself.
No one likes facing tragedy, adversity, emotional roller coasters, or feeling as though they are being swallowed by and wallowing in turmoil, regret, and agony. We want to forget the pain of the past. We want to cover up our flaws. We want to forget all of the hurts we have experienced.
However, it is often in these moments that we realize how much we NEED God. It is often in these moments where we realize the hope that He offers. It is in these life-changing moments where we gain insight into what is truly important in life. Perhaps this pain is actually an important part of our story and can help mold and shape who we are and what we will become.
Instead of being bitter, maybe it can make us better.
Our weakness becomes a portal to God’s power. – Megan Brueseke
In thinking about broken crayons and brokenness in general, it is overwhelming to think about God’s grace. He does not expect a huge bank account or for us to appear “perfect” to people. He doesn’t expect us to wear brand name clothes or for our true selves to be blemish free. He doesn’t need for us to be a CEO or have a million followers on Instagram to love us how we are. Where we are. As we are.
When we walk through seasons of brokenness, God is right there holding our hand.
God is also holding our hand through the beautiful moments. He is with us through every season of life. I keep envisioning the process of a caterpillar becoming a butterfly. An intricate process.
Annette Thomas said, “Just when the caterpillar thought ‘I am incapable of moving,’ it became a butterfly.” When we think we are too broken or too scarred to change or move forward, God says, “I am making you something beautiful.” Freedom. Fresh starts.
- I pray that today, as you embark or continue on your own path to freedom and healing, you realize that you are not too broken to see and experience beauty. Sometimes we simply have to start by handing God the broken pieces of our hearts.
- I pray that we will not let Satan whisper lies of being too inadequate to make a difference in Jesus’ name.
- I pray that we will not let Satan whisper lies of deceit, telling us that our baggage makes us invisible to God. Your past does not have to define your future. God sees every part of us, in our entirety, and still longs for us to follow Him and hand over the broken pieces of our past. He loves us THAT much.
- I pray that we will not forget that maybe our painful stories can be used by God to help speak life and hope into the lives of others who are struggling.
Isaiah 61:1 (NLT), “The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is upon me, for the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor. He sent me to comfort the brokenhearted and to proclaim captives will be released and prisoners will be freed.”
There is no fear too big and no past too broken for our God to set free.
God can use our stories of pain and turn them into something beautiful – we just have to hand over the reins. Don’t forget – broken crayons still color. And regardless of what we have been through, God can still use our mess to create a masterpiece.