Re-shaping My Definition of Beauty

My mind has understood and processed for many, many years that God’s definition of beauty is not about the size of your waist, the expense of the ring on your finger, or the brand of clothing you wear. But I’m not much of a jewelry girl and I usually shop pretty thrifty, so admittedly, I haven’t really taken time to pause and truly break it down. I have, however, been listening so intensely to my Pastor’s recent sermons on “flipping the script” in our minds, truly taking time to reflect on what you think about, why you think it, and ultimately, learning to give your thoughts over to Jesus.

In this series and while delving more into Scripture, it became apparent, all too quickly, that I need to re-shape and re-mold my definition of beauty, or rather – God’s definition of beauty. I need to absorb more of what God says and take in less of what the world is throwing at us.

What social media and society puts on a pedestal as a “beautiful woman” is often someone who feels the need to reveal most of their body for attention. She craves that attention and almost “needs” it to feel better about herself.

I wish it was as simple as writing down a new definition of beauty and repeating it in the mirror every day, but it is much more complex. It’s the beginning of a new heart, mind, and soul journey for me. To seek the beauty that God has in store – with my words, my thoughts and the way I carry myself. I want to raise my daughter with a different view on herself and who God made her to be rather than what the world is constantly shoving at us.

Isn’t a beautiful woman someone whose compassion and kindness radiates and glows from the inside-out? Isn’t it someone who throws kindness like confetti, and has this unspoken glow about her when she is loving and helping others? Isn’t a beautiful woman someone who knows that her true worth is not in the size of her waist or the types of clothing she wears, but someone who is confident and passionate about who God created her to be?

I yearn to be more like THIS kind of woman.

A woman who is fearless in her pursuit of God and what sets her heart on fire.

A woman who is no longer imprisoned by negative self-talk and comparison.

A woman who is confident in her life calling and yearns to mirror the heart of Christ.

A woman who does not fear her future, because she trusts God wholeheartedly with her life and heart.

Proverbs 31:25 says, “She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future (NLT).”

As I thought about my previous definition of beauty, I realized I felt more of a desire to weigh myself on a scale and get to a certain number rather than letting God reveal what parts of my heart needed more work and more depth. I thought the scale would make me feel more confident – more beautiful.

I think it’s beautiful to be unique. To be the person God created you to be. To really thrive in that element of knowing you are His and He is yours. To be unafraid of what others say about you.

Unfortunately, I have cared immensely about what people say or think about me. In a world of comparison, it’s difficult not to want to be skinnier, prettier, get more highlights, and radiate that constant smile and persona of having it all together.

I never took time to think about the beauty of our minds and healthy, God-centered thought patterns.

Reshaping my definition of beauty is: To think, live, and breathe positive thoughts about yourself and others. It’s the beauty in seeing your God-given potential and the reality that we are made IN God’s image. The beauty in genuinely seeing the physical and spiritual beauty in other people rather than the constant feeling of needing to measure up to and outdo others. The beauty to find the good in everyone. It’s finding the beauty in not living a life of comparison, but in speaking life to and about others.

What is healthy confidence?

Healthy confidence is standing firm in your beliefs. It’s saying no when people tell you to bare more skin to be viewed as beautiful. It’s the strength to say no to peer pressure – no matter your age.

Healthy confidence is not choosing your tribe based on popularity or looks, but in their ability to influence you in the right ways. The people who encourage you and help you stay the path.

Peer pressure isn’t something only youngsters face. We face it every stage of life:

  • In high school, you are driven to be popular – to be number one on the court/field and to be named Homecoming Queen, Captain of your Team, and Most Popular.
  • In college, you want to be invited to parties and get asked out on a lot of romantic dates by the hunkiest guys.
  • In early adulthood, you feel the need to land that well-paying, high profile job fresh out of college that makes you feel successful.
  • In early adulthood, you also feel the need to find and marry your Prince Charming and make the cutest babies. Don’t forget – that your family has to always “look” put together.
  • Let’s not forget the comparisons when you start having kids — are your kids well-behaved, do you have a nice house, do you have a full-time job or are you a stay at home mom? It goes on and on.
  • As you mature, you then have grown kids who start having families, become grandparents, and so on. Are we the best? Are we successful? Do we have nice things and look put together?

We feel as though we have eyes on us constantly. What have we done? What have we accomplished?

These questions have been a real battle for me over the last few years, but ultimately, God is teaching me:

To be beautiful in every phase of life – continue pursuing Him, love others like Jesus so passionately and selflessly loves us, stop comparing and judging others, stop harboring anger, and don’t become so consumed with the scale that we forget all of the heart “work” and heart care that needs to take place. Problems and trials will always arise, it’s what we do with it that matters. For these are the things that will bring light to the world and fill our hearts with true, Spirit-filled joy ♥️


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