I Am A Work in Progress 

I’m going to start this post by letting you into the very core of my being. I want to be honest and genuine in what I write. Sometimes that means having to bare some of the cracked parts of one’s heart and that is a daunting task, to say the least. My first confession is that I have a difficult time letting go of past scars – times where I hurt someone or times when someone hurt me. 

I am someone who typically bottles things up, and anyone out there who knows anything about counseling, emotions, or well, being human it is not a good thing to bottle up your emotions, pain, and scars.

We must learn to access, address, and move forward with our emotions and turmoil.

I also like to fix things, and when I cannot, it drives my emotions absolutely insane. When someone is mad at me or attacks my character, it devastates me. Why? I am human. I like world peace.

I wish we could all love each other and avoid the mean, harsh words that cut to the very core of someone’s being. I wish we could all avoid the social media and verbal wars that infiltrate our homes, hearts, and world because people become so consumed with having the last word or winning an argument.

Who thrives on hatred? Who thrives on negativity? Who thrives by tearing others down? Why must we have the LAST word, even if it is the most degrading, filthy comment or threat to someone else’s character? Perhaps those who have not seen hope or forgiveness for themselves. Perhaps those who have lost sight of the beauty in life and the hope that Jesus offers us daily. Those who have been so emotionally scarred that they have given up on life and love. Perhaps those whose hearts have become so hardened that they do not realize the impact behind their words.

The hurting want to build a wall around their tender, ailing hearts and forget what forgiveness, love, hope, and joy truly is.

I have contemplated giving up social media several times because of the harshness that surrounds world news, events, and everything for that matter . . . because so many people have to say something degrading and bitter to make themselves feel better or perhaps they have become so numb to what is infiltrating their own hearts. People tell me things I need to do or should be doing to be a good wife and mom. They tell you everything you’re doing wrong. The breaking news is this: this is now EVERYWHERE in our world – not just on social media.

I will admit that I have made many mistakes in this world. I continue to make many mistakes daily – in my heart, mind, and with my words. Too many to name. I have said things to my husband or family members that I regret. Every day, actually. I have ignored someone that I should have invested in. I have done a horrible job at keeping in touch with certain people or following up with people I knew were hurting.

If I could turn back time and make things right, I would. But, life doesn’t always work like that. We must learn from the past, love unconditionally, and realize every day that we are a work in progress.

I am a work in progress. I have to be reminded of this daily, moment-by-moment.

Every single day I must choose to die to self and choose Jesus. I fail horribly at this. I make mistakes. I say the wrong things. I lose my cool. I MUST choose Jesus daily. We must choose to learn from our past mistakes rather than let the turmoil and pain follow us and infiltrate our hearts. We cannot allow bottled up emotions to lead our actions and harden our hearts. Jesus, lead us.

Psalm 25:4-5, “Make me know Your ways, O LORD; Teach me Your paths. Lead me in Your truth and teach me, For You are the God of my salvation; For You I wait all the day.”

God’s mercies are new every day. Lamentations 3:22-23, “The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”

The bottom line:

We must learn to access, address, and move forward with our emotions and inner turmoil. We must turn them over to God. Instead of lingering and wallowing in pain and disappointment, we must cling to the hope that He offers. The joy. The peace. The forgiveness.

Access: Look at your life right now and see what may be bogging your spirit down. What is at the core of your heart and thoughts? 

Address: Address the issue – surrender it to God and ask for forgiveness from someone if you need to.

Move Forward: To see the hope that is anew every day, we must move forward, learn from the past, and try not to make the same mistakes over and over. 

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